Shit Feet


Me: Oh my god what is that smell? <observing the Princess regarding me warily> I think the dog shit on the bed somewhere!!

Mr. Tip: <sheepishly watching me on my freaked out turd search> It might be my feet. I just took my boots off for a minute and my socks are…moist.

Me: <aghast> Gross. I almost threw up in my mouth.

Mr. Tip: <chortling> What? I can’t even smell them!

Me: I think it’s because you’ve gone nose blind.

Mr. Tip: It’s called ‘nasal fatigue’.

Me: It’s called “wash your fucking feet”.

Mr. Tip: <itching the damn things thus exacerbating the stench> No, I’m just going to put on different shoes and then you probably won’t smell them anymore.

Sorry ladies, he’s taken.


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